y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
