He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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