talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
