I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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