I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
