So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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