how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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