Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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