haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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