also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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