brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
send nudes
from the living room?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
