they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
