Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
