I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
