Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize