I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
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