you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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