Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
