I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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