that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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