Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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