when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
