My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize