We need to rekindle our bromance
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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