I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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