just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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