I wanna passion pit in your ass
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize