Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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