Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
