The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
