Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
