I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
