a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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