Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
