i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
