Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
