i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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