:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
