The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
