i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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