So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
