That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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