You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
