I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize