I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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