Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just cut my nipple shaving
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
