But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
