I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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