It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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