she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
