so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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