why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
