Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
