I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We had sex on a dog bed..
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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