We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
