and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize