...so i touched it.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize