Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
