He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
