Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
