To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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