9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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