If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize