Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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