I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
