So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
